Do's and Don'ts of Nursing on Demand

A new baby is overwhelming to say the least. These tiny tots are so much work and they do not come with an instruction manual! However if you just attune yourselves to your babies, they will teach you and let you know all that you need to know. Newborns are non verbal... but they know how to communicate and as mothers it is absolutely imperative not to miss out on their cues and gestures and cries.

After exclusively feeding 3 babies I have learnt a few tips and tricks that worked for me. I am sharing them here in hopes that maybe a new exhausted, bewildered and on the edge new mom might find some solace or some hope or something that might actually work for her and make a difference!

One of the sure shot ways to establish to a healthy and sustainable breastfeeding relationship, is by way of "Nursing on demand". Nursing on demand requires a mom to be able to distinguish the hunger cues from other forms of communication (which might include discomfort due to gas, uncomfortable temperature, a need for cuddle, sleepiness, dirty diapers etc). Some of the hunger cues are

1. Watch the FISTS!

All babies share some cues; kind of like a universal baby language. When the baby is hungry they will start sucking on their fists.

Another sign is tightly clenched fists. As the baby nurses and gets filled up the fists will un-clench and relax.

Third signal is the position of the entire arm. At the start of the feeding session the baby's arm is generally propped up. The baby will hold on to the collar of the mother's shirt or simply rest the arm on their own chest, and as they get filled up, the entire arm will lower down. Kind of like the fuel indicator; only reversed.

2. Rooting

Infants have very poor eyesight. To compensate for the lack thereof they rely on their other senses; in particular the sense of smell (detecting their moms within 6 feet) and sense of touch (rooting for breasts if their cheeks are touched). Rooting is one of the cues of hunger. Do not wait for the baby to cry for it. Nurse them as soon as rooting response is detected.

3. Crying

Crying generally is the last resort for the babies. By this time they will be ravenous and hard to latch and pacify. Also crying as a hunger cue is more difficult to decipher as it can also be due to a lot of other factors, like feeling the need to cuddle, feeling too hot or too cold, feeling gassy, or any other discomfort in the body is also communicated through crying. Hence it is important to try and catch the baby hunger cue through the first two indicators.

MYTH; TIMING THE NURSING

Apart from following the hunger cues to time the nursing sessions through out the day, the other equally important aspect of feeding on demand is putting the baby in charge of the duration of the nursing session along with the decision to unlatch once done.

Once latched it is absolutely imperative that the baby is allowed to nurse for as long as they baby would want to nurse. An actively suckling baby should not be unlatched by force for any reason including switching sides. Let the baby nurse to their content. A common misconception perpetuated by well-meaning paediatricians and lactation consultants is timing the baby on each breast and limiting the nursing session to anywhere between 10 to 20 minutes each side. New born babies are not very efficient at extracting the milk from the breast and can take as long as 30 to 40 minutes on a breast; and it is absolutely normal and in fact recommended to ensure that the baby gets the creamier hind milk and also boosts the supply.

You can further read all about the common breastfeeding myths on La Leche League official website

Common breastfeeding myths

Making a meal out of Junk Food

Instant Noodles with chicken broth - For chicken broth recipe you can follow this link:

                                                                                              Chicken Broth Recipe

I know, I know... Junk food is not good for health and kids should not be allowed to make a habit out of it. But what about instant noodles? I have seen even the most organic of all moms making an exception in this case, mostly due to the immense pressure kids have the ability to create on their moms' nerves! I have to admit the truth here... all kids LOVE instant noodles! Even the most fussy ones. So why not use this opportunity and use the noodles to camouflage the healthy  nutrients which the kids are adept at turning away?

Here are some of the tried and tested techniques and recipes which give me some peace of mind that my little one had had a healthy meal after all!

1. Create a base sauce:
There is a huge variety of healthy sauces that you can make to which you can add noodles to create a square meal. Ayaan's favorites includes a basic white (Bechamel) sauce and Alfredo Sauce. To make white sauce, simply take 2 TBS of butter, add about 2 tsp of semolina (instead of allpurpose flour to add more fiber), cook till it is fragrant and add about a cup of milk, bring to a boil and add a slice of cheddar cheese. Add boiled noodles. A hearty healthy meal is ready!

2. Top it!
Make the noodles as per the packet instructions (I just put them in the microwave with a cup of water for 5 minutes and let them stand for another 3 minutes and they are super soft and yummy!). Add a shredded slice of cheddar or mozeralla or a TBS of cream cheese, stir and voila! calcium rich noodles are ready in minutes.

3. Substitute water
Use milk or chicken broth instead! A tip regarding chicken broth, if using the broth boil noodles separately, strain and then add a cup of broth and bring to a boil. Due to high fat content of broth, the noodle might not get fully soft to a consistency appropriate for a baby.

4. Hidden Treasures
Add boiled carrots, peas, beans, chick peas, shredded chicken, pulses (yellow split lentil is best for kids; Daal Moong), oats, rice, chunks of toasted bread and whatever your child may fancy. If the child is fussy or too young, puree the above before adding to the noodles (Tip: keep the noodles a bit soupy so that they can absorb these ingredients). Roast the grains a bit before boiling them to add more flavor. Also when boiling pulses, add whole spices, minced garilc and a pinch of turmeric to make them extra tasty.

5. Change the game
Take the noodles to another level by turning them into a tasty chowmein with chicken and chopped vegetables. Marinate some chicken with a TBS of soy sauce, lemon  juice, black pepper, white pepper and salt. Stir fry the chicken, boiled noodles and chopped vegetables in some butter (each ingredients separately) and combine them to create a tasty and hearty meal. You can also boil some noodles, put them in a baking try, add half cup of milk, shredded cheeses, mix together and bake for 15-20 minutes at 180 C till the mixture is bubbly and golden.

These are some the ways Ayaan takes his noodles... If you have more creative ways to make instant noodles healthy and nutritious do share! Bon appetit!

Time Out!

"No, no, no, noooooo....", evidently it was too late anyway, my beloved plum shaded lip gloss was all over Ayaan's new yellow T-Shirt. Believe me, for a second or two I was quite furious. But then immediately sanity prevailed. After all it was my fault in the first place that I left my purse within his range and what was the point of yelling or scolding him now anyway; the T-shirt and the lip gloss were both total loss and any expression of anger would have been futile to say the least. Besides, any outburst would  have been more detrimental than the loss of a little gloss or a T-Shirt considering the impact of yelling on his tiny ear drums and well I know where I can buy more gloss or a new T-shirt from.

Now that we are on this topic, this brings back some memories from further back. I remember that when Ayaan was a little newborn baby he used to burp and throw up a lot and the primary target of all the activity would be mine or Babbar's shirts. We did have a few diaper disasters as well (who doesn't!). But the most critical, important and meaningful advice that I have received came from my husband, "It is just a little boo boo, nothing is more important than our little bundle of joy. Shirts can be washed or even thrown and replaced by  new. He is worth everything and more!". Then he would lovingly cuddle Ayaan and whisper to him, "Go ahead my munchkin, that's what Baba's shirts are for anyway!". After that, I don't remember grimacing even when Ayaan would do a projectile vomit, if anything, doesn't he needs love and comfort the most at the very time? Masha Allah, Ayaan is one of those babies who do not start yelling at the top of their lungs at the slightest bump. I would give the entire credit to the timely advice by my husband.

Why am I telling you all this... Well to be honest I have seen my share of people literally jerking babies away from their precious clothing or even more precious selves the minute they hear a burp or suspect a wet diaper. Telling off the innocent baby, expression of anger at the additional task of washing up extra clothes/carpets etc is not unheard of, at least in this part of the world. What we all need to keep on top of our mind is, nothing is more important than our precious children. They are truly a gift to us from Allah SWT, and we need to make sure that we do our best to take care of His blessing.

If we just dig a little deeper, we would realize that we over-react not because the baby is at fault, but because of our own fatigue, frustration or anger at something else. What we fail to realize that we might vent out on the tiny soul and will end up scarring the little mind for life. So whenever we do feel the urge to burst up on our little ones, take TIME-OUT. Don't give it to the little one, take it yourself. Calm down, breath deeply, wash your face, freshen up that smile and then talk to your baby if needed (if the baby is old enough to be disciplined). And when it comes to disciplining, do not ORDER the child to do something or not. Explain to the child WHY you wish an action to be performed and how you would appreciate cooperation. Children will comply to your rules much better if they internalize the reasoning behind it.

Another important distinction that needs to be made is between a "Premeditated Destructive Act" vs. an "Accident". PDA might need intervention but an accident only requires assurance. Consider the fact that your child must be more terrified and baffled than you are angry or upset. Give them a little hug and tell them it is ok and if at all, tell them to be careful for their own safety (and not because you think they are costing you something/anything!).

Throwing a tantrum? Again, the child is trying to communicate. When we get frustrated we also vent. The research shows that there are two parts of a tantrum; Anger and Sadness. What we need to do is, first of all "Do not react!" Asking questions, scolding or even talking will only prolong their anger. Just let them vent out a little and get over their anger. Once they are a bit calm (and only sad), distract them to something they love to do, be it outdoors, books, toys or rhymes.

Always remember that material things are there to be used up, to be broken, to be replaced and people in our life are there to be loved and cared for, and on the top of the list are our little ones.

Play and Learn

Ayaan is Masha Allah growing up so fast! He is a perfect gentleman with enviable manners and polite demeanor. He is developing a super energetic and outdoorsy personality. His recent interests are Cricket and Hockey and he is actually quiet good at his ball deliveries and hockey dribbles. Makes me so proud every day. Watching the baby play and learn is just as enriching and rejuvenating for the parents as it is for the kid. It is a beautiful opportunity given to us by Allah SWT to revel in the delights of our young ones. Such are the simple joys of life; keeping you grounded and real.

Today, lets discuss a few of the lessons that I have grabbed along the way when it comes to play-n-learn.

Conducive Environment:

Remember how we used to feel frustrated and distracted during our exams if the TV or radio were to be too loud? Same rule for babies. They have very short attention spans. In order to build up their attention span and keep their interest in a particular toy or activity, ensure that they are comfortably seated on the ground, on a play mat or a play pan. Turn off noisy appliances (this includes TV, Radio and other household appliances). Above all, take some time out and make yourself 100% available for the baby, both physically and mentally.

Demonstrate:

Do not expect a young baby to grasp the technicalities of a wooden shape sorter or a stack all by themselves through mere experimentation. Kids learn by observations. In fact, observation is just as good a mode of learning as is first hand experience at this age (that is how they learn their manners, language and culture).

Talk and Giggle:

Engage the baby during the play. Explain the colors, shapes, the activity itself (Lets build a tower). Keep it short and sweet, use short crisp sentences and smile a lot. Giggle and make fun noises to keep the interest of your baby up.

Age Appropriate Toys:

It goes without saying that all toys should be age-appropriate and safe for your baby. Choose bright colors, assorted fabrics and textures. Wooden blocks are excellent for stacking and building towers and to hone those motor skills. Ayaan enjoys wooden puzzles (shapes, animals, transport) a lot. Play dough, lacing, lego, stacking cups, tolo car, tricycle, soft-bat and ball, water doodle, musical instruments and talking phones are fascinating for a 19 month old. At this age remote control cars and pinball tables can wait!

Books:

Lets not forget the books! They are just as good as the toys when it comes to spending some quality time with your baby. Make them as fun as possible and you will raise a reader for life! Ayaan started reading/browsing books when he was only 10 months old. His favorite were the soft cloth activity books (the ones with a zipper, lace, Velcro material etc) and the touch, feel and learn books. When buying books for this age, invest only in board books so that there is no fear of wear and tear. Ensure that each page has only one or two images at most as too busy a page will only confuse a little baby and slow down the learning process. Get a couple of fairy tales and nursery rhymes in board books and make them a bed time routine.

Repetition:

Repeat often; be it play with toys or reading a book. At this stage, repetition is the key to learning. Only proceed to new subjects once you are sure that the baby has grasped the concept. For example, if you are teaching "A is for Apple", repeat the same word at least 10 times to the baby not only verbally, but also show images, the actual fruit, videos, books and toys that have anything to do with an apple. This reinforcing is essential for long-term learning.

Above all, always keep yourself available for your child; his queries, his babbles and his smiles. Have lots of fun, takes lots of pictures, lots of kisses and hugs!

Armed for Winters!

One of the benefits of living in a coastal city is that we have pretty much hot and humid temperatures throughout the year. For a couple of months though the weather does fluctuate a few degrees allowing us to enjoy a few extra cups of tea, coffee, soups, hot cocoa and cosy duvets.

Unfortunately the temperature fluctuations also bring with them seasonal flu. What is interesting to note that there are about 200 types of cold viruses and our bodies have to go through the entire 7 days of flu to develop immunity against the one caught and will never ever get sick of the same virus in the lifetime (Random Fact: That’s a total of 3 years, 9 months, 3 days and 18 hours of cold!) . As the saying goes, you can take medications and the flu will take 7 days to cure and without the medications, it will last for a week!

However, it does not mean that you have the suffer the severity of the virus as well. Overtime I have a learnt a few tips which I would like to share with you at this time of the year. Here is a list of a collection of tips/remedies/advices that make my little one really comfortable during the occasional bout of cold (Tried and tested).

1. 1. Keep the feet warm: Keep those tiny chubby feet wrapped in soft cotton socks during winters. This will ensure that the baby does not catch a cold in the first place. Make sure that they are wearing comfortable sandals while they toddle around over marble or tiled flooring.
2. 2. Shift bathing time to mid-afternoon: Also try to keep them in a little late-afternoon warm sun-glow and let them absorb the energy and heat. Avoid early morning showers as the baby might get exposed to cold morning wind. Late evening baths are simply forbidden.
3. 3. If the child already has a cold, try putting some vicks vapour rub on their feet, chest, back and behind their ears as they drift off to sleep. Cover feet with socks.
4. 4. If the baby has low grade fever (below 100 degrees) you do not need to give any medication. In case it is equal to or more than 100 degrees, give child about 5 ml paracetamol every four hours. If it raises more than 101 degrees take the child to the emergency room and always keep some paracetamol suppositories at hand for such emergencies.
5. 5. Use a nasal aspirator to clear-up a runny nose. Put a few drops of saline water in each nostril. Close one nostril with your left hand while you aspirate the other.
6. 6. If the child is cooperative, use a steamer just before bed. It will ensure comfortable night free from blocked nose.
7. 7. Dryness increases the chances of catching a virus. Use a cold humidifier at all time during the winter.
8. 8. Rest is by far the most important factor in recovering from flu.
9. 9. If you feel the child is congested, use ¼ of a teaspoon of Manuka Honey first thing in the morning. Just let them lick the spoon clean. Works like magic every time (for children who are one year plus).
10. 10. Raise the baby’s head while he sleeps. Put a few folded towels under their pillow in a cascade form and arrange the baby on the pillow so their head and shoulders are on the pillow. Sleeping on a side also helps preventing the nasal drippings from reaching the throat and causing infections.
11. 11. Keep the baby hydrated. Increase their fluid intake and add juices, herbals decaffeinated teas, plain water and milk to their diet. Pure orange juice is actually very beneficial for combating flu. Chicken broth is great for providing the warmth as well as necessary nutrients.
12. 12. If you are nursing the baby, continue to do so and increase the nursing sessions. They are the best way to comfort a sick baby and also speeds up their healing process.
13. 13. To avoid abrasions to the delicate skin around the baby’s nose, apply some baby petroleum jelly each time you wipe their nose. Cleaning with water is a better alternative, but dry the water droplets immediately afterwards.
14. 14. Keep the baby dry.

Hope that you will find these helpful. Have a happy winter while I go and get my third cup of tea!

Ready, Get Set, Go?

A lot of people may not agree with the idea, but my 18 month old baby boy is already getting prepped up for school. He visits a playgroup thrice a week in a mother and toddler program where his teachers try to force down some flash cards, some old nursery rhymes, colours identifications, colour sorting, shape recognitions, some really technical artwork (like gluing together 3D cards!) while all my son Ayaan is interested in is running around the play area and climbing up the soft-stairs.

This all puzzles me. Do our kids really need this kind of work pressures so early in their life? Why can’t we just let them enjoy their childhood like we did when we were young? I remember my childhood before i joined school was all about spending time with my parents, playing with my siblings, enjoying my toys and creating imaginative pretend plays all in my own time, at my own pace and without any time boundaries and strict curriculums.

I will not blame the playgroup here. They are after all just following the social norms and trying to help these kids meet the standards that the proper schooling systems have set up. Just the other day the teacher asked the group a question. Can you tell me what shape this is?

It was a cube made out of sponge with a cylinder cut out from the middle. Half the group answered: Circle and the rest settled on a square. The right answer, it’s a square. Shockingly, this was the question asked by one of the prestigious schools of the city and a 30 months old baby is supposed to know the right answer! Not only that, they are also required to know 7 fruits, 7 vegetables, 7 modes of transports, 7 farm animals, 7 wild animals and know how to sort colours into their respective groups and they should be fluently bilingual. Have these schools really gone crazy? And believe me; this craziness is quite contagious for the parents as well. What choice do they have anyway? They all want their children to get the best education possible with the best school in the city and so they too are under immense pressure to ensure that they child is ready for the vigorous albeit ridiculous tests and standards.

Why are we as parents so determined to make our children join the rat race as soon as they learn to walk? Do they really need this to excel in life? Am I missing something here? Is this fair? I keep asking myself these questions but to no satisfying answer. I shudder to think that my kid might feel left out or unable to compete with the ultra-geniuses that our society is presumably producing at the tender age of 30 months and less!

I have been told that my baby is on the books to start his own independent classes from this January. I do not feel comfortable with this idea. After all he is still just a baby and aren’t all the parenting websites telling us that the best mode of learning for kids this young is through parent interaction? I am really confused. All I want for my child is to grow up to be a fine human being with high moral standards and ethics (something that is not learned at a school anyway!). I wish for him the best that this world has to offer. Yet I find myself uncomfortable with this system. I question these so-called tests and standards. Are they really a measure of my child’s aptitude to excel in life? Should the schools be allowed to discriminate so early and on the basis of non-scientific test measures? I feel it is wrong. Is it just me?

A reminder to the simple joys of life

My little baby is now 18 months old and this is my first blog ever! I have been planning on starting this blog before my little one came into this world but I had not really taken into account the sleepless nights, marathon diaper changes, day and night nursing sessions, innumerable burping disasters, projectile vomits, piles of laundry and you name it! Loved each and every moment of it, but did not have any time left for anything else whatsoever. Now that my munchkin is a lot more independent, I have finally decided to let the creative juices flowing and start putting some of the precious memories in black and white.

Its a learning experience each day. Every day I learn something or the other from my little bundle of joy. A lot has been said about what the babies learn and need to learn... however what we miss out is how we reconnect with our own childhood through our precious children and how they make us see the world in a whole new light. I love the way my baby licks his softcone enjoying and savoring the flavor, it reminded me of my own childhood when we used to have a competition within the siblings to see who can save the icecream to the last (which my little sister Moon always used to win sometimes freezing part of it for the next day even!) Why can't we take some time out like our little babies, and enjoy and savor the flavors and moments around us? It really is just that simple... slowing down and absorbing the beauty of life.

My son loves to share. Whatever he is eating or drinking, he brings to me, my husband, his grandparents and aunts and wishes that everyone share the joy of his eating experience. He simply would not take another bite till we give in and take a nibble and his resulting joy is contagious! Another lesson that we keep forgetting in life owing to our so-called busy routines. We need to make some time for family dinners and lunches and there are no two ways about it. Family bonding through sharing food is a time-tested old tradition that we need to revive and enjoy every bit of the time spent together over food.

My son loves imaginative play. He will pretend to pick up nibbles of food from my empty palm and burst into giggles over his antic. He hardly needs the expensive toy brands to make him happy. He loves a set of colored plastic cups over his expensive set of sports simulation by Little Tikes any day. Its a humbling reminder to me that we do not need a branded badge on our shoulder to be happy. What matters most is how we make use of the simple things around us and find happiness when we let our imaginations run wild.

I am still in the process of learning... and getting lessons in the simplicity of life every day. Do you feel my son has a point? :)